Hooked (TKO #2) Read online

  Garrett pulls into the driveway and panic hits me. Reality sets in. I’m terrified. “I can’t go in there.”

  My tear-stained eyes meet Raegan’s, and she lets a sob escape. She’s been so strong for me and I love her for it. “Lance, you have us. Everything is going to be okay. Your dad needs you right now.”

  “We’re here for you, brother,” Garrett says. “I love you.”

  “I love you too, Garrett. I can’t breathe, though. Everything is caving in.”

  “Let’s get you inside, Lance,” Raegan says softly, opening the door.

  The warm air hits me, almost knocking the rest of my breath away. Garrett wraps his arm around my shoulder and leads me to the front door of my house. Sobs wrack my body as Raegan opens the door. Dad’s there. Our eyes lock.

  This is not how I pictured my night to go. I was supposed to talk to Hilary, and fix things with her. Instead, my mom died.

  My dad is sitting in his chair in the living room with his head in his hands. He looks up for a moment and sees me. His eyes are as bloodshot as mine and my fucking heart is breaking. He stands and walks briskly to me, pulling me into him. His strong arms hold me tight and I allow myself to fall apart again.

  “She’s better now, son. She’s in a better place,” he whispers.

  “I know, but it fucking hurts. It hurts right here.” I clench my fist against my heart. “It wasn’t supposed to be this way.”

  He holds me for what feels like an eternity. I can’t look around too much without the sorrow hitting me again. It’s like a ton of bricks every damn time.

  “She was so proud of you for everything you’ve done, Lance. I hope you know that,” Dad tells me.

  “I hope you’re right, Dad. I just, I can’t believe this is really happening.”

  When he breaks the hug, I have to remind myself to remain standing. My strength is slowly fading but I know I have to continue to be strong for Dad. Raegan steps forward and offers help for anything we may need. Dad tells her how much we appreciate it. And we do, more than she will ever know.

  This was the last place I wanted to be when I heard the news, but now I know this is the only place I want to be. I’m surrounded by my dad and my best friends. With them, I have all I need to survive this fucked up shit I’ve been dealt.

  ***

  The next few days pass in an agonizing manner. There’s so much crap to take care of between planning the funeral services and just trying to remember to breathe. Besides what is left of my immediate family here with me, my gym family never leaves my side and they will never fully know just how thankful I am. My palms are sweaty along with the rest of my body. This dress shirt is suffocating me, but I leave it alone. I want to unbutton every button and let it hang open, but I can’t.

  I glance over toward the casket where my sweet mom lies. I haven’t gotten the courage to approach it yet. Last night at the visitation, I stayed as far away as I could. I know I need to make my peace but it’s harder than I thought.

  “You have to go up there eventually, Lance.” Raegan’s soft voice breaks through my thoughts.

  I turn to face her and stick my hands in my pockets. My face is firm and I refuse to break. She reaches over to pat my shoulder. Her hand lingers for a moment and she offers me a sympathetic smile. “I know it’s hard. I’ll walk up there with you, if you’d like.”

  Taking a deep breath, I slowly remove my hands from my pockets. Raegan reaches out, and I let her pull my hand into hers. She gives my hand a small squeeze, and my confidence begins to build up.

  For the first time in a long time, my Mom looks in complete peace. She’s not hurting. An ugly sob escapes my throat and my knees buckle beneath me. Garrett appears from nowhere, helping Raegan hold me up. My heart is pounding so hard, I almost can’t take it. The air is removed from my lungs and breathing becomes so much more difficult than it already is. My mom is lying there, yet she’s no longer here.

  “Mom, I’m so sorry. I hope you were proud of me. I-I love you so damn much.” I sob toward the casket.

  Raegan squeezes my hand and Garrett continues to be my strength. After a few moments, I am able to compose myself. I reach down into the casket and touch her cold, lifeless hands. I pull my hand away and turn to find a seat.

  Dad comes to sit beside me and pulls me in for a hug. “I love you, son.”

  “I love you too, Dad.”

  The rest of the service goes by in a blur. My eyes burn from crying nonstop. It’s a complete honor, and I’m damn proud to be able to be a pallbearer for my mom. All my life, she carried me through the tough times, and now it’s my turn to carry her. The sun is shining brightly in the sky, and with all my heart I believe Mom is smiling down on us.

  Chapter 3

  Two weeks ago, my Mom was laid to rest. It’s taken us a little time to almost get things back to normal at home. It’s odd to walk in and not see her there. It’s a waking nightmare. Dad has immersed himself in work and both of us are glad he’s been able to hold down a job that he somewhat likes. The job pays the bills and that’s all that matters right now.

  I haven’t fought since right before Mom died, and I’m itching to get back into the ring. Howard insisted that I take a little time off after everything that happened. I think he was more worried that I wouldn’t have my head on straight. I know my head isn’t quite where it should be, but I know what I’m doing.

  As if things weren’t crazy with Mom being gone, I still can’t fucking get Hilary out of my head. I can’t help but shake the insane feeling I have about her. She did make herself quite clear though as to her true feelings for me that night. I can change her mind though, and I damn well plan on it. I just need her to remember me, to remember the good things. I don’t want to lose my chance with her. Why do I feel this way about someone I hardly know?

  Lou’s, home sweet home. I love this damn place. Walking in, I can’t help but grin. Raegan is standing off to the side talking to Whitney. Raegan doesn’t fight anymore. She chose to give it all up for Garrett. She misses it some kind of fierce though, I can see it in her eyes. Whitney is holding Randi Lynn. Damn, that little girl gets cuter every time I see her.

  Raegan waves me over.

  “Hey Raegan, Whitney.” I turn to Randi Lynn. “Hey cutie, how’s my favorite little girl today? Need Uncle Lance to kick some little boy’s ass?”

  “Lance, watch your mouth around my child!” Whitney scolds.

  “My bad. I meant butt.” I grin at Randi Lynn as she begins to coo.

  Whitney covers Randi’s ears. “If my daughter’s first word is ass, I’m going to kick yours. Between you and Howard, I don’t know who is worse!”

  “You’re lucky you scare the shit out of me, Whitney.” I laugh. “Now that you aren’t pregnant anymore, I better behave. Unless you’re already pregnant again.”

  “Take Randi, Raegan,” Whitney says, handing the child over. All of a sudden she looks ready to throw me down and pummel me.

  “I’m totally kidding.” I hold my hands up in resignation. “I love you too, Whitney.”

  The door opens and Howard walks in holding a pink diaper bag. I immediately break into a fit of laughter. “Oh man, this day just gets better and better. Hey, Howard, can I get a picture of that? This is cracking me up.”

  Howard cuts me a warning look that tells me he will drop that bag in about two seconds, and slam me to the ground. But I can’t quit laughing. I’m a joker, it’s what I do, and it’s who I am. It’s how I cope with everything. Thank God they all know this and love me for it.

  “Go find Garrett before I kick your ass.”

  “Howard, language! I just fussed at Lance for the same damn thing.” Whitney gawks. Her face is a brutal shade of red now, and I take that as my cue to skip off toward Garrett.

  He’s hitting the punching bag and turns to face me as I walk up. “Hey, man, Whitney looked like she was ready to kick your ass.”

  “Watch that word. Your sister is in ass mode,” I warn him. “She’s
out to kill anyone who says it.”

  Garrett chuckles as he turns to look at her. Raegan is now holding Randi Lynn in her arms, and I see the glimmer of hope in Garrett’s eyes as he watches. Raegan and Garrett are the kind of couple who make me want to puke sometimes. It took them damn near forever to finally get together but even I have to admit they are pretty damn perfect together. Raegan had a rough time with her Dad for a while, and when shit finally hit the fan, she got out. Garrett was there to help her, and they’ve been together ever since.

  “What’s on your mind, man?” I ask him.

  “Huh?” he says, trying to play it off by crossing his arms over his chest.

  “I see that look on your face. Raegan is holding Randi Lynn and you’re gazing at her like a damn girl swooning.”

  “You don’t know what you’re talking about Lance.”

  “Yeah, okay. Tell yourself that.”

  Garrett actually blushes. Holy fuck, he’s worse off than I thought he was. “Look, I’m not saying anything. You’re going to laugh at me.”

  “Oh boy, I can see I’m going to enjoy the fuck out of this. Tell me. We’re best friends, dude.”

  He rolls his eyes and makes eye contact with me. “I love her so damn much, Lance. Seeing her holding Randi Lynn, it does something to me. It makes me feel like a damn pussy, but I can’t help thinking about what it would be like to see her maybe holding our child.”

  My eyes widen. Hearing Garrett talk like this makes Hilary pop into my mind for some reason. Dammit. “Shit man, that’s deep. I get to be the godfather, right?”

  “She’s not pregnant, Lance.” He glares at me.

  “I know that. I was just securing my place.”

  “Do you really think it would be anyone else?”

  “No.”

  Howard clears his throat from across the room and Garrett steps up to clench the punching bag while I begin to wail away on it. Punching the hell out of this bag is therapeutic for me. Each time my fist connects with the bag, a thousand pounds of pressure discharges from me.

  Sweat begins to bead along my hairline and I finally quit long enough to be able to catch my breath. Garrett removes the gloves from his hands and walks over to Raegan who is still holding his niece. Covered in sweat, he reaches out to grab Randi Lynn from Raegan’s arms and gives Raegan a soft kiss on the lips. Gag me.

  Howard walks over to me and clasps my shoulder. “How are you doing, man?”

  “Things are decent…considering. Takes some getting used to, but I’ll make it.”

  “I’m glad to hear that. Whenever you feel ready to fight again, let me know and I’ll tell Blaize to get you on the docket.”

  “I’m ready,” I tell him without hesitation.

  “You sure?”

  “I’m positive, Howard. I’m ready. I need this.” I need to fight like I need to breathe. I’ve missed it too damn much.

  “Then I’ll set it up. You need to spar. Leave the punching bag alone. I need you at the top of your game in that ring. You know that.”

  “Gotcha. Who do you want me to spar with?”

  “Pick whoever you want, doesn’t matter to me. Just get yourself back into the hang of things. And don’t forget…if you need anything, just ask.”

  “Thanks man, that means a lot to me.”

  Garrett is so wrapped up in Randi Lynn, I don’t want to bother him. Raegan always comes dressed like she still fights, so I eyeball her. When her gaze meets mine, I wave her over. “I need a sparring partner. Tag, you’re it.”

  “You sure you can handle this?” she asks, wiggling her eyebrows.

  “You play dirty, Raegan.”

  “You know it. Let me grab some gloves.”

  She walks off to grab an old pair of her gloves that she keeps lying around. I remember when she couldn’t even get a pair on and now she’s a damn pro. She saunters back toward me and puts her hands in position. I throw the first swing and she blocks it before retaliating. Yep, I knew she missed this shit. She’s sparring like she’s never quit.

  Her attempt to swing at me is blocked when I catch her off guard and kick her legs from under her. She lands on the mat with a thud and laughs. “Damn, Lance. I miss this.”

  “I can tell. Do you ever think about fighting again?”

  “I can’t lie, I do think about it. But I think it’s for the best that I leave that behind me.”

  “Damn, that’s some harsh truth.”

  “I guess so. So have you talked to that girl lately?”

  Her question takes me off guard and I run my hands through my hair as I stammer, searching for the words. “I, uh, yeah, uh, no.”

  “Well, we need to change that,” she says firmly, pointing her finger in my face.

  “Raegan, no offense, but I don’t think we can change that. She’s made it clear she wants nothing to do with me.”

  “We will change her mind. She needs to remember. Do you think she’ll be at Joe’s tonight? It is ladies night. I’m sure I could convince Garrett to go.”

  Damn, I don’t know if I’ve ever told Raegan that she’s my best friend, but I think she just took Garrett’s place. A devilish grin spreads across my face. This could be the perfect plan, the perfect way to get Hilary right where I want her.

  “I’m in. I sure as fuck need a happy ending after these past two weeks.”

  “That’s my boy, Lance. We’ll have her eating out of the palm of your hand.”

  My heart begins pounding in my chest at the mere possibility of getting to see Hilary tonight. It’s been a little over a few weeks and her face is still etched into my brain as if I just saw her five minutes ago. I want to feel her lips against mine. I want to hold her soft, curvaceous body, and show her I’m more than the jerk I was in the bar that night.

  “You really think Garrett is up for going tonight?”

  “Don’t you worry about him. I’ll take care of that.” She grins wickedly.

  “I think I just threw up in my mouth, Raegan. Thanks for that.”

  She throws her head back in laughter as she rises to her feet. We continue to spar for the next few minutes and in the back of my mind, all I can see is brown hair and beautiful eyes. Dammit, Hilary just does me in. This day can’t go by fast enough.

  Chapter 4

  I’m pacing outside of Joe’s when Raegan and Garrett pull up in the parking lot. As soon as they get out of the truck, I’m approaching them quickly. My damn palms are sweating and we haven’t even made it inside yet. Hell, I don’t even know if Hilary’s here, or if she’s coming. Raegan links her arm with mine and we begin the walk to the front door with Garrett right behind us. The music blares through as we walk inside. My eyes take some time adjusting to the bright lights and when I can finally see, I make my way to the bar. I can’t do this shit sober. I know that sounds shitty, but my nerves are on edge. I order three shots of Patron and pass them to Raegan and Garrett.

  “To liquid courage, making us a hell of a lot stronger than we normally are,” I say as I toss the shot back.

  We set the empty shot glasses on the bar. I’m looking for her now.

  “Don’t worry, Lance, she’ll be here,” Raegan whispers in my ear. Garrett slides her a drink and she begins slowly sipping it.

  “I hope.” I lean across the bar and order a beer. I take the first sip and then glance over my shoulder. My breathing becomes erratic, and I see exactly what I want. Hilary is here.

  “Raegan, there she is,” I say, nodding toward her.

  “Told you. Okay, so what’s the plan?”

  I was supposed to have a plan? Raegan never mentioned a fucking plan. I guess this is where I dive in balls deep and hope Hilary doesn’t crush them. I put one foot in front of the other and look back at Raegan. “This is my plan. Say a prayer for me.”

  Garrett laughs and raises his beer to me. I don’t know what the fuck I think I’m doing as I slowly approach her. She doesn’t see me coming, and I think I like it better this way. I can hear her laugh and it’s lik
e music to my soul. My hand moves without me realizing it, and I touch her shoulder. She turns around slowly and when her eyes meet mine, her smile fades.

  “What do you want, Lance?”

  “I’m sorry I never got back to you a few weeks ago, I had to leave abruptly.” I stay calm as I speak, but my palms are sweating, so I place them in my pockets.

  “Oh, you needed to get sucked off in the parking lot? You don’t owe me an explanation for that.”

  My heart plummets and I can feel tears forming behind my eyes. This was a damn mistake. “No, Hilary. I wasn’t getting sucked off. I got a phone call that my mom died, and I had to go home.”

  Her eyes widen as she throws her hands over her mouth. She looks mortified. “Oh my God. Lance, I’m so sorry.”

  “What do you have to be sorry for? That’s the truth, I can’t change it.”

  Considering her attitude lately, her actions confuse me. She wraps her arms tightly around my neck and pulls me in for a hug. Feeling her body against mine ignites flames of desire and my cock begins to harden. I can’t let her feel that. I don’t want to scare her off.

  She draws herself away slightly and looks at me. “Can you please forgive me for my comment? I feel like shit now.”

  “You didn’t know, Hil. It’s okay. I haven’t been out since then, and I felt horrible about walking out on you that night…even though you made it clear you didn’t want to speak to me.”

  “You hurt me, Lance.” She breaks the hug, but leans close enough that no one else can hear her words. “You left me all alone that night in the closet. I wasn’t trying to scare you off. I wanted you. But I felt you needed to know I was a virgin.”

  Hearing her say she wanted me that night makes my cock twitch in my jeans. She’s really got to stop saying things like this in public. Her eyes are softer now, showing me the Hilary I met that night. I glance over to see Raegan grinning from ear to ear. She’s completely eating this shit up.